It may be difficult to let your child cry in the early months, but it will save both of you much more crying later on.
Tiny infants need immediate response to their cries. To develop a sense of security and trust, a baby needs to understand that when he cries he will be attended to. You will find very shortly that your infant will even tailor his cries to his particular need. The hunger cry is different from the cry of pain which is different from a cry of exhaustion. It is this cry, as well as other signs of fatigue that are important to pay attention to early in your child's life. They will be important signals to you in the months to come.
Sleep Before Four Months
Infants younger than four months of age are not necessarily prepared to learn how to fall asleep unassisted. These babies still need to be fed in the night as well as to be held frequently in order to develop socially. You cannot spoil such a small baby by giving him too much attention. This changes very quickly, however.
Sleep from Four to Six Months
Around the time your baby is four months old, he will probably be developing more mature sleep cycles. Naps will become more regular and night awakenings will decrease. This is the time to begin training the baby to fall asleep by himself. If you are nursing, your child may still need two night time feedings. If you start to notice that he is waking up for company rather than for food, however, leave him to cry for a few minutes. He may surprise you and fall back asleep on his own.
Sleep and Crying
It is definitely painful for parents to let their infants cry without rushing to their aid. Understand, however, that crying is a baby's primary mode of communication. He is telling you that he doesn't want to be alone. The truth is, though, that he needs to learn that naptime and bedtime are two times that he has to be alone. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics in their book Caring for your Baby and Young Child Birth to Age 5, ". . .even if your child cries for a long time (twenty to thirty minutes) there is no evidence that he'll be hurt by it" (209).
The Rewards of Crying to Sleep
If you start putting your baby down in his bed to fall asleep on his own at an early age, it is unlikely that he will cry for very long. If you are consistent about letting him fall asleep by himself, he will master the skill very quickly. The rewards are countless, but I have listed a few of them for you here.
- Now, you can enjoy the freedoms of not rocking and soothing your baby 3-4 times a day until he falls asleep.
- Now, you can take pride in your baby's newfound independence and capabilities.
- Later, you can avoid increasingly difficult transitions of a sleeping child from your arms to the bed.
- Later, you can avoid hours of screaming from a toddler that does not find that sleep comes naturally.
Letting your baby cry at such a young age may seem difficult now, but it will leave you and your infant calmer, more independent and better rested later.
Source: Shelov, Steven P. Caring For Your Baby and Young Child Birth to Age 5. Bantam Books. New York. 1991.
